Friday, September 18, 2015


Actually, I take that back. You might as well read it. There's probably some decent stuff (along with plenty of crap) that you won't find anywhere else. What I mean to say it that it's not really going to be updated very often, as I've had very few original thoughts that couldn't be expressed in 140 characters or fewer. In general, the new stuff is at .

Thursday, June 25, 2015

You were working [as a waitress in] a cock[tail bar], when I met you.

These are the things that Meatloaf won't do for love:

forget the way you feel right now
forgive himself if you don't go all the way, tonight
do it better than he does it with you
stop dreaming of you ev'ry night of his life

...mystery solved

Thursday, April 30, 2015


She just looked at him, expressionless, and said "I need to know if you're having an affair." He had three immediate and unhelpful thoughts.

First, vanity: "It's exciting that she's living in a world where I could possibly have an affair. I've still got it!"

Second, concern: "What could make her think that I'm having an affair? Has she lost her mind?"

Third, worry: "Wait, have I done anything that could be considered as a affair? Am I forgetting something? At that bachelor party, a couple of the strippers got surprisingly handsy, but that was years ago and I don't think you could really call that an 'affair'."