I called into a radio show today and got to ask my question on the air.  You're supposed to turn off your radio during the call because, typically, the radio is a few seconds behind the phone call and this causes problems such as confusion and audio feedback.  Well, in this case, the radio was actually a few seconds *ahead* of the phone call.  It was crazy because, listening to what I was about to say, I was pretty surprised at the way that I was about to phrase things and the words that I was about to stumble on.

THIS BLOG IS DEFUNCT

This blog is (pretty-much) defunct. I'm enjoying the exercise of getting my thoughts down to 140 characters. So I'm mainly on twitter now (http://twitter.com/originalname37).  I may still post here once in a while, or decide to completely re-funk it someday, but for now consider this a dead blog.

Defeating the Gallows

If you were a trained rope performer (Like this lady, for example), and someone tried to hang you, it seems plausible that you might be able to survive by following this course of action:

1) Take a deep breath.
2) Just before they pull the lever, kick your legs up (and forward) so that you fall head first rather than feet first.
3) As the back of your neck hits the tense rope, use your momentum to swing one foot up and twist the rope around your ankle.  Hopefully, as you are upside-down and have quickly decelerated, the hood falls off.
4) Use your other foot to kick the executioner off of the platform as he comes to pull you back down.
5) Pull your tied hands over your butt and legs so that your hands will be in front of you.  This requires you to let go of the rope, swinging backward and back down.
6) Simultaneously, reach above your head and grab the rope with your hands to take up the tension of the rope and avoid a broken neck.
7) Hands still tied, use them and your legs to get to the top of the rope as quickly as possible.
8) Get on top of the gallows' arm and remove the noose.  Breathe again.
9) Use your teeth to get your hands free.
10) Now that your hands and neck are free and you're at the top of the gallows with full control of the rope, you are free to use all of your training to escape.

Space Ships Before Astronomy

It seems like, if our planet had an opaque atmosphere, we could have built a rocket and left the atmosphere before we even understood that we live on a planet that was rotating and orbiting a star.

Republican Pre-Primary Plan

I just talked to a guy who works for the GOP and he told me that they have a one-candidate-per-month plan for the rest of the year. According to him, they plan on having one candidate take the lead for each month until the primaries actually start. It will be:

Michelle Bachmann in September

Rick Perry in October

Heman Cain in November

Newt Gingrich in December

I don't have any idea how they plan to do it (Herman Cain?!?!), but this is how they plan on letting Mitt Romney (the candidate that they expect to actually win the primary) stay out of the spotlight and not have to take the beating that goes with front-runner status.

I'll post more if/when I get more details.